Shiit [09 Feb 2005|04:53am] [ mood | distressed ] [ music | Greenday - Boulivard of Broken Dreams ] Damn, its been a while. theres seriously absolutely nothing new either, haha. just besides alot of drama.. and yes, drama sucks. what really gets to me is when people open their traps about shit that isnt any of their business. (i know, i know, this was totally out of nowhere.. but i was just thinkin bout somethin.. lol) like, really tho, if nothing pertained to you.. wasn't bothering you.. had absolutely nothign to do with you.. and was a topic nobody talked about and didnt care about, would you talk about it and bring it up? well, i know i wouldnt say anything cuz i dont waste my time on shit that doesnt have anything to do with me, so i dont know why some people think otherwise. blabber blabber all this talk is bullshit... i hate fake bitches... :D well im going to go eat some... i need to now that im on stupid medication ....ill explain later.... byyyyye!!!*<3 post comment

:) [11 Nov 2004|10:40pm] [ mood | ecstatic ] [ music | Breaking Benjamin - So Cold ] I'm feelin good ;) i feel like im off to a new start. i got a new job, im goin to cancun this summer, me n my friends are havin such fun, and my bro is home til dec. 5 :) my new job first... im now working at Express. yay. ive wanted to work there for a while and something told me to apply b/c of the christmas season comin around, so i did, and i got hired! sweet huh? the only shitty part of this whole thing is always wearin the high shoes...hurts your feet :/ ive already worked 3 days, and i work sunday, thursday and saturday this comin up week... me tammi cassidy jenna brit amber frank keshtion 'n bee are goin to cancun this summer!! sweeeeeeeet ;) i cant wait.. i NEED this vacation soooo bad.. im going out of my mind! i just can not wait to get away from all of this back here.. all this stress and tension and EVERYTHING.. grr ;) my bro just came back from texas for about a week now he's been home... he'll be here til dec. 5.. then he goes to Turkey... i wish he could say home for christmas :'( ill miss him dearly </3 well nothing else is really new... me and jenna are hangin out more which im really happy about. we've known each other seriously before we were even born cuz of our families knowing each other.. me and her can really understand each other too cuz we go through the same things, pretty much like how me and tammi can relate. boy do i love my friends :) but im going ot get going. ill ttyl*<3333333333 post comment

Bored.. most def [02 Nov 2004|09:15am] [ mood | bouncy ] i'm sitting in class right now bored off my ass. things are going alot better, but my computers broken.. so the only computers i use are either my friends or in school :*( yes.. i know.. very depressive. but at least i have an excuse to to have alot of recent entries ;) my friends are helping me out so much right now. every time i need them they are always there for me. especially tammi. she helps me through everything because she understands me. boy do i love her :) my mom is still goin somewhat psycho lately.. but hey i guess shit happens?? i dunno.. she'll calm down sometime. But im gonna get goin now.. ill ttyl*<3 byyyyyyyyyyye post comment

Butternut [21 Oct 2004|07:23pm] [ mood | mellow ] [ music | Incubus - Warning ] well, i guess things are going better today. my mom is trying to be all nice to me now and everything, but i dunno.. its just weird. i feel as if i shouldnt accept her unspoken, just gestured appology. it makes me mad that someone can treat you like shit everyday then just out of nowhere be all nice to you just because they sympathise from the night before. yea man, shit bites. Im really enjoying my friends right now. i can never thank them enough for helping me out through these hard times. just them being happy and makin me laugh and smile makes me feel soo much better. more then i could ever describe. theyre there for me all the time, i feel like i owe them so much more. but then, that happy mood i got in, disappears when i come back to this place.. then its back to the stressed life my mother puts me in. ruuuaaaaaaarrrr! sorry, just hadda let that out.. well.. i dont really have anything else to say? just that im feeling somewhat better.. until my mom opens that damned trap of hers.. so, peace out girl scout!*<3 post comment

Life Fuckin Blows [20 Oct 2004|08:17pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Socialburn - Down ] Alright, call me crazy.. but, isnt life strange? (u said it!) no, really tho.. just when you think your day is going alright (when it really isnt) something always seems to turn that around (true dat). lets say, your enjoyin a nice plate of spaghetti (uhh, okay?), then you notice you dripped sauce on your shirt (that sucks!).. but see, (yea?) it wouldnt have been that bad (really? y not?) if you werent wearing a white shirt(that does suck). now, youre prolly thinkin 'man, shes lost it' (haha yeah!!) but this split-meaning description of your dinner has quite a close meaning to aspects of life (most def). i think im losin my mind people!?! now.. my night might be entertaining to you, if you find psychotic parents enjoyable. im pretty sure ive told u how crazy my parents can get. well my mother, i realized, is quite insane. she started nagging me over something so completely miniscule and i just sat there, not saying a word, just listening to her nag and nag and nag away at me. she got up in my face and just started bitching at me. and well.. i really dont want to get into the rest of this b/c it can get her in trouble.. (we'll keep that part on the DL..)but, after this episode i went back upstairs and i sat here at the computer and my head started spinning, i was shaking, my stomach hurt, and my body went numb.. -bad signs.. bad sign #1.. head spins.. my doctor told me not to get upset, worried, stressed or emotional about things for a while.. until my head starts to heal up better because the 'spins' i get have something to do with nerve endings that are connected to my brain, and that when those spins get worse, or have an increased reoccurance, its a sign that my head is getting worse, not healing, or the contrusion is coming back, and my brain is going to bleed again. Great, thanks mom! bad sign #2.. shaking.. well, i guess i kinda have to be honest. i used to think and i tried committing suicide. this shaking reminded me of when i went through this part of my life. definately scared me. i would never do/think that ever again.. but just the shaking reminded me of a past time in my life which i never wanted any rememberances of. but, this shaking thing was my stomach problems, and also when i had my eating disorders.. which was how i found that i had a 'shaking' problem. i would shake and have no idea why? my body would get weak, and wiggly, and i would just shake all over. i went to 5 doctors before they finally figured out that the problem was a chemical imbalance in my brain which caused me to throw up, and get sick.. (my eating disorders were caused b/c i was afraid to eat b/c i kept getting sick and throwing up, and when i did eat i was afraid of getting sick, so made myself throw up..). this chemical imbalance was caused from me worrying about how i appeared to my at the time b/f and all the stress and emotions he and the relationship put on me. bad sign #3.. stomach aches.. well yea, i threw up twice tonight.. the whole imbalance thing, and stress and emotions... this is a bad sign tho, cuz i would throw up to 5 mayb 8 times a day.. and well its been happening a little more then id ever expected.. and im afraid... i think its happening again :\ now.. my body going numb... i think this was because of my head injury. i think all this stress and pressure on me and everything and just me being so upset did something to my brain which caused every part of my body to go numb. i dont know? it was definately something i do not want to go through again though.. those few minutes of paralization is not something i wanted to or want to experience again. i really dont know what to do? i know i need to get out of here.. but the consequences im faced with are unbearable. im losing my mind being locked up in this hell hole, but what else am i supposed to do? i really dont know.. ? i just really dont feel good right now.. i think im going to go lay down and try to get away from her.. talk to you later*<3 post comment

ehhh, yea [17 Oct 2004|10:36pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | Big Pun - Rude Boy Salute ] fuck fate, fuck life, FUCK LOVE! 2 comments|post comment

BRUHAHA =) [08 Oct 2004|03:59pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Scars of Life - Bullet With Your Name ] hey there mates, how ya'll doin?? good?? well thats good. i'm doin fine, thanks. things are gettin better round here.. somewhat me and my friend worked things out, thank god! so everythings back to normal, me n my girl are back to bein tight again, heh ;) my mom is still annoying, but hey, you'll have that huh? softballs goin good.. i have practice sunday 2 til it gets dark.. and theres a tournament in Cherry Hill NJ weekend of October 16th.. schools goin good again, my grades are gettin so much better im gonna go get ready for my game.. PEACE OUT*<3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! post comment

[05 Oct 2004|03:06pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Michael Crawford - Music of the Night ] you feel it hurt.. tearing in your chest, you try to let it go.. but it just won't rest the constant breaking, will somehow always be.. my heart is broken, yet nobody can see ehh, yea.. u can tell from that poem how my week is going, yup.. not so well i feel like i'm losing everything i cherish the most in life.. my friends my family softball education .. everythings slowly drifting away and really i dont understand why? i feel like my friends hate me because they don't really talk to me unless they need something anymore.. there's fights every night with my parents.. my mom nags me so much about softball that im so sick of playing it.. and im slacking off in school because i found something more important.. but now that i'm losing everything.. i guess i have nothing to worry about anymore? i saw a really good friend of mine roll her eyes today.. im not sure if it was at me or not, but i assumed it was, and yeah i over-reacted because i've been having this feeling of exclusion and well it really hurt me when that happened. i mean, i do anything for anybody and thats why i dont understand why this shit happens to me? if someone (esp. my friends) asked me to do something for them.. i'd do it. but i guess its like what greenday says... nice guys finish last- someone close to me which i thought would understand my feelings i guess doesn't. i was in the worst, saddened mood yesterday and no one understood, and i really thought that this person would. i expected that they could at least take a couple minutes of their time to try to help me out in this mixed up situation i'm in... but i guess that was asking too much? all i wanted was to get this all off my chest and just have someone listen and consult with me. but that didnt happen. i realized that the problem in my life is that i'm too worried about other people than myself. i'm so wrapped up in making everybody happy instead of myself. and all my problems that i try to talk to people about, turn from my problems, into theirs and mine are totally forgotten. no one's worried about me... so why should i worry about them?? i know why, because thats just the way i am. i have another dr. appointment today.. this time for my inflamed, pain-filled wrist.. yippy skippy this week fuckin sucks... and its not even half-way over yet... (pardon my french) well im going to my doctor, peacee*<3 post comment

Doobie doobie doo [04 Oct 2004|08:20pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | Katy Rose - I Like ] man, oh man does my mother drive me nuts. yeah it really sucks livin' with your parents, unless your parents are actually normal. i registered to vote today. im sorry all you kerry fanatics.. but im votin bush. ive been listening to more n more things and watchin more shows 'n stuff on tv and kerry is seriously talking out his ass. he has no clue what he wants to do for our country. every 2 seconds he changes his mind, and all he does is diss bush.. for what? giving the working people a good tax cut which he doesnt believe in?? i'm sorry but i'd want the money i worked for back (if i actually worked ;)hehe ). i listened to bush and he is certain on what he's going to do for the country, and actually says it and explain it.. all kerry says is "president bush is wrong this, and president bush is wrong that" well then tell us what your gonna do for us there kerry buddy 'ol pal... oh, ya can't?? oh thats right.. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE TALKIN 'BOUT! ;) haha im such a bitch ahh.. i was 'posed to tell you bout my neurologist appointment wasnt i? well.. the reason ive been getting such bad headaches and the 'spins' is because of nerve endings connecting to my brain or somethin? i have to lay certain ways, and when i sit i have to do certain things, and even when i bend to pick something up.. my doctor taught me seriously a new way to do everything in every single, solitary situation.. i cant even rememeber everything. its kinda like walking for the first time, or being potty trained or somethin. but we learned all that good shit at a young age.. we didnt already do it for years upon years and suddenly have to change our habits. everything i have to do (if i even remember) is sooooo uncomfortable. yeah so life sucks.. i wrote a tremendous 4 page paper and damn i am so proud of myself... haha yea u might think i'm crazy, but it was very, very, very good. john went with me to see 'the forgotten' on sunday. i wanted to see that movie soo bad, it looked really good, and yeah i guess it was pretty good. turned out to be a little different then i thought it would be, but basically its a pretty good movie. saturday and sunday i had a showcase in allentown. a showcase (softball) is where a ton of teams sign up to play games against a couple other teams (4 games, random teams.. but there may be more games due to more teams..) and neither team wins or loses, you just play to be scouted. so this is good for college-bound student-athletes. yeeeeeeee-hawwwwwwwwww well i'm gonna get goin, peace out girl scout*<3 post comment

la la la la la la la la la la la :) [28 Sep 2004|03:18pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | Edison Lighthouse - Love Grows Where My RoseMary Goes ] well, things are getting better i guess. actually.. im just feelin better, im not sure how good things are, or are going to be. but things can never be all that great anyways huh? i didnt go to my doc yet.. im somewhat nervous.. :\ i have a 3 page essay due by friday on a book i didnt read. hmm, this could be trouble... i dont know whats wrong with me. i dont mean i have problems or anything... i just feel like im missing something in my life. i feel incomplete or somethin? i might just be doing that thing where i think too much once again, but i honestly believe that my life is lacking some sort of concept that i can't quite figure out... hmm? junk mail.. seriously sucks... :P whenever i'm feelin down 'n out there is one thing i always do. it always seems to put me in a good mood and can give me a laugh....... i go to homestarrunner.com lol no, really though, its like the funniest site i have ever been on. it always makes me laugh no matter how many times ive been on it.. i found it by mistake in like 7th or 8th grade and i still go to it ;) if ya'll get a chance.. go check it out. i'm going to Emmaus to play softball at a showcase this weekend.. yippy skippy. i get to hear my mom bitch at me all weekend.. hooray yea life sucks- well i'm going to go get ready for my appointment.. ill let u know how it goes though ;) talk to yah laterr*<3 1 comment|post comment

h to the izzo [27 Sep 2004|12:20pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | John Gregory - Ride of Your Life ] sometimes it rains too much to care sometimes pain is too much to bare sometimes the words you say will cost you sometimes you wonder who would care if they lost you.. i read this today and i wondered who would care about me? but i think this is my problem.. i contemplate things too much. things that are minuscule i somehow think too much about and they become a majority problem. i need to learn not to think about things too much and just go with the flow. its important to somewhat care, but not to make an immense proposal out of it, like i seemingly tend do. maybe i just need someone to sit me down and teach me to not care and stress out about things as much as i do. :\ tomorrow is my doctor appointment for my head. at the last one he said i would need to get another MRI b/c he doen't think it's healing correctly because i'm still having problems. oh great right?? so we'll see what happens tomorrow.. i'm beginning to stress out about alot again. i find myself shaking, yet again.. it seems like everything is getting to me and i dont know why? i do believe its my parents. especially my mom. we're best friends, and we get along so well.. but we spend way too much time together that i find myself wanting to pull my hair out and just freak out when she starts to get on my nerves. she really drives me crazy, and i'm holding it in, which def. cant be a good thing.. she nags me about everything and it just really gets to me. some days i find myself crying from so much stress and pressure she puts on me.. its breaking me down, and building up inside of me- i really dunno how much one person can take.. but i guess i can take alot.. but... im not too worried about it.. it seems like things are going to be getting better for me, i have a good feeling that someone is going to be there for me.. well.. i dont really have anything else to say so, i'm gonna get goin. byyyye*<3 1 comment|post comment

Shit, it's been a while- [24 Sep 2004|03:24pm] [ mood | energetic ] [ music | Lil' Scrappy - No Problem ] Haha, wow sorry bout keepin you all on hold with my life here. i know you're all so anxious to hear bout me. haha. Well i guess i'll start with my summer? It was pretty darned good. other than the softball trips almost every weekend for like 2 n a half months, and games about 4 or more times a week. but hey, i love it so i play it. the parties this summer were absolutely awesome. I was in Buffalo for ASA eastern conference national championship for my USA Team Miken team (we came in first) and i visited Niagra Falls and was totally hit on by a ton of not so good looking people. the only good looking people that were there worked in Abercrombie in 2 of their malls, and one kid working at a pizza parlor. geez, talk about luck huh? umm.. well thats basically my summer in a nutshell.. there were a couple times this summer when i got totally stressed and just wrote down a bunch of shit, so im servin it up to you to criticize.. and no i am not depressed, psychotic or anything relating to them in any way.. i was just havin a bad day or somethin, but i think im a pretty darned good writer ;) here goes.. why do i seem to find myself, lost and in doubt? each day more painful then the last, unfulfilling dreams, without living my life im in this world alone, im falling fast into this cyclone, this circle of evil this ring of death is following me closer im holding my breath. soon i will fall faster, but not into this cyclone, for here i am now, i am alone.. ..i think im going to sleep for a lifetime ~here's another- do you mind if i so vainly say.. my life is over, its gone astray. ive fallen into a vast abyss.. i cant get out, now i reminisce. this is it im through with everything.. my life is over, no more feeling. -here's the lasttt.. once again i find myself, falling away from you.. wont you pick me up, instead of watch me down? or is this something new to you? this story doesnt have an end, just a new beginning.. i want a new chapter to start, my soul is slowly thinning.. change it now, its been going on too long, why won't this chapter change?.. why am i this character stuck in your damn story? youve made me so deranged.. ..brings a tear to my eye everytime i read it PSYCH! haha well i'm headin off to a party with my friends kristy and sam, ill try to remember to update more ofter ;) byyye*<3 post comment

[19 Jun 2004|12:43pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Mis-teeq - Scandalous ] Well, mary decided to find out what the solar system had to say about her. in other words, i decided to go see what this astrological stuff was all about. well i'm somewhat disappointed and down on myself, but turns out, its somewhat the truth. "You are a serious person and inclined to be somewhat inflexible in your thinking. Since you tend to be rather judgmental, you could only be happy with someone who is in philosophical agreement with you and conceptualizes the world as you do. Sometimes you are rather taciturn." "You know things intuitively as well as rationally and have a rare capacity to perceive in others feelings, thoughts and dreams they may never have openly shared. Anyone close to you would have to share your love of music and interest in spiritual thought." "Your love nature is very turbulent. You form relationships impulsively and then worry it's with the wrong person. There seems to be a dichotomy between the person you know yourself to be and the person you feel you should be in order to be valued and loved." "Your self-esteem is based less upon what you are in your own or others' eyes than on what you do. You may become so compulsive about achievement that you cannot relax into a warm, enduring relationship until you have achieved some success in your career." "One of your great strengths is your sensitivity. You tune in easily to the psyches of other people and, while you may not notice the color of their eyes, have an almost eerie understanding of their private inner worlds. Your close ties are very private." "You regenerate yourself through periodic transformations of your life situation. Your relationships can only endure if your partners grow and change with you so that you wind up still pointed in the same direction. Otherwise you will leave them behind." "You are extremely persuasive and, perhaps, skilled at manipulating others to share your views. Your intuition is powerful and the research skills which may help you professionally also manifest in your private life. You know everyone's deepest secrets." watch out ;) i know allll about you. haha. well i have my good points and bad ena? hmm.. some of this could be controversal.. but i'm not getting into that. one thing about this that i know for a fact, and can definately say i am not, is judgemental. this most likely because of my upbringing, and my open-mindedness to people and their feelings. my girls and i went clubbing on thursday. we decided to go to evolution. now during one point of this crazed scene, mr. dj played the old country favorite, 'cotton-eyed joe'.. can someone please tell me what he was thinking? with all this sweet hiphop, rap, dance music out there.. why n the hell did he pick that? haha. i must say that was the only song of the night that he shouldnt have played. the rest was all good. ;) i have yet ANOTHER game tonight.. i tell you, this softball stuff, really puts a tamper on my social life. well, not really, but we'll just say it does. i think it's time i go find something to do (for once).. Later haterss*<3 1 comment|post comment

I'm backkkk ; ) [15 Jun 2004|03:30pm] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | Cassidy (ft. Mashonda) - Get No Better ] Haha wow, it's been a while. my life's been jam packed with softball, and my dance recital was sunday so i've had practice almost every day! it's been crazyyy! I must say though, i'm feelin goooood. haha. it's like i've had a new start or something. my life's completely flipped around and is now totally awesome! The Blink concert.... was rockin! haha. i had a blast. i loved the used, and taking back sunday.. don't get me wrong, blink was great!.. but so were they. it was a plus that i went with such fun people too (taryn-alessandra-tristan-marla), there was never a dull moment. =) Softball Player of The Year... right here, thank you.. thank you haha. I made 1st team allstars and all regional too.. no athlete of the week this year, but maybe next year. :/ Summer is here and i'm lovin it! (just not when i have a game >:o ) i cant wait to go to virginia, yay!! Oh yeah.. this is really funny so i just thought i'd tell you.. my ex-b/f moved in with a girl from the projects with an 8 year old kid.... and she's around 25 or somethin.. that means she was pregnant in her late teen years.. ew gross me out. so he had her call my/his two friends and kick them out of the house. well i just heard yesterday that she kicked him out of her house and he's now living with his brother. what a fucking loser.. pardon my french :) Someone found my cell phone.. haha thank god they were nice enough to return it :) well, i'm really lost with things to tell you.. maybe i'll think of some more things in days to come, but i'm off to go wash the 'teg, she's gettin dirtyy :*( so i'll talk to you later!! Byyyyye*<3 post comment

Things Could Be s0o Much Better Right Now.. [18 May 2004|12:08pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | Usher - Burn ] Well, it turns out that my boyfriend isn't all he cracked up to be. we broke up, and he said the reason he has been so shady towards me was because he wasn't ready for a relationship. now let me think.. hmm.. i do believe that i was the person who told him i was afraid and didn't think he was ready to have a relationship since him and his girlfriend of 3 years broke up not even 3 months before we went out.. yes, that was me. but he insisted that he was ready, he really liked me, he really cared for me, and would never hurt me like my ex boyfriends have. so how this all became my fault, i have no idea? guys confuse me.. well anyhow, turns out he was like all the rest.. enah? another bad thing that happened.. was that i accidently left my cell phone on the roof of my car and well yeah, you guessed it, mary the dummy drove away with it on there and lost it. so my mom was pretty mad about that. i came home after a rough day and saw a USPS box on the porch. YES BABY!! my taillights came in!! i'm all happy like a kid at christmas time, i rip open the box and pull them out. and well with my good luck and all, turns out they're the wrong ones. so i have to repackage the box, re-ship it to california, and re-buy the taillights. so that just iced the cake on my day. well, hopefully things will look up for me. but it's lunch-time so that means time for mary to chow down, C-yaahhh*<3 post comment

So much to tell!! =) [04 May 2004|12:14pm] [ mood | loved ] [ music | Elmo - Elmo Song ] Wow, it's been a while! haha and there's so much to tell you! First off, i have a new boyfriend now. we seem to get along pretty good, but we'll have to see how long the good stuff lasts.. i have another game today. it's in mountain view so i'll be getting out of school early. i'm doing soo much better pitching. i think my problem was just getting back into the game after my injury. we play the toughest team (the ones who beat us) again this friday, and i am PUMPED! =) can't wait, i want to win. My weekly Love Horoscope: Monday might find you suddenly deep in meaningful conversation with your sweetie or your crush. Tuesday and Wednesday are, luckily, good days for you to analyze the unseen matters of the heart. If you can take a risk, the weekend could be all hearts and flowers, with the already coupled-up having the time of your joint life. If there's love in your life by May 1st, you hold the world by the tail. watch out world ;) Welp, it's lunch-time!! byyye!!*<3 =) post comment

Are We Strangers... Again? haha sorry- [22 Apr 2004|12:20pm] [ mood | energetic ] [ music | Beanie Man - Bossman ] Sorry, once again, for not typing. but i've been busy. We won all our games this past week. That can be a good sign for things to come. Today, after practice, i have a neurologist appointment. which is GREAT because my contrusion is rebleeding, and i've been getting headaches all the time, when i say all the time, i mean it! it's like i have a permanent headache. :'( Tomorrow, i have a chiropractor appointment, to get my body back in place. my whole arm all the way to my fingers hurts, my whole back is sore, my ankle, knee, basically all of me is hurting. I've just realized.. pitching really takes a toll on your body. School is goin good. it seems to be easier now, which is great because there's a tendency to slack around 4th quarter. maybe i'm just starting to get used to the classes and thats why it seems easier? haha, who knows? I met this kid jimmy a couple weeks ago, and he's such sweetheart- but i think he likes me :\ . he is friends with friends of mine, so we all get along, which is awesome =) he is a nice guy n everything 'n after a couple of rough break-up's, i kinda need someone to talk to, and tell my problems to, and this kid has an ear for me, which i totally appreciate.. but i dont like him like that. yet i'll get blamed for being a heart-breaker..... go figure. Well it's almost lunch so i will talk to you another time, sorry, but food comes first =) Hope ya have a great day!!! ;) Byyyee*<3 post comment

Long time no talk.. ;] [18 Apr 2004|08:57am] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | 8ball - Hands in the Air ] Heyy! haven't talked in a while! my computer hasn't been working right so it's been rough. i don't even know where to start!? haha i guess i'll start with softball? we've won the rest of our games so far.. but we have a tough team to play tomorrow :/ i have a good feeling about it though, so hopefully my feeling will be reality and we'll win. i got my report card. my lowest grade was a 78 (in english) which i have to say looks bad, but it's actually good because the course is toughhhh. We got our scheduling for next year done. i must say, the courses really stink. i had to take things i personally wouldnt want to take. i wish we had better choices to choose from. i took Anatomy/Genetics, Criminology, Psychology/Socialogy, AP Biology, and Family/Consumer Sciences 4. They are the best of the courses to choose from so i guess i'm lucky? Well there's not much more to talk about so i'm gonna go ;] have a good day.. byyye*<3 post comment

NUTS!!!!!!!!! [09 Apr 2004|11:57am] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | Kayne West - All Falls Down ] wow.. these past couple days have been crazy! i'll get this off my shoulders first. we lost our first game, 11-6. it's kinda sad that no one really cares about playing this year, it's gettin' me down. we're making so many errors. i'm not doin my fullest potential though, and i can't understand why? i know i can do better, and i try, but nothing changes. it's weird. maybe it was my injury? i have no idea. we won our second game though, but still made errors. that sad part is that we didn't play like this at all when we were scrimmaging.. so i dont know why we're suddenly playing like this?.. over-confidence? laziness? carelessness? i have no idea.. if you know, comment me and tell me cuz i'm lost. we had spirit week in school from monday-thursday... and IT SUCKED. we didnt get shirts this year, we only got to dress down one day(but i break that and dress down basically everyday, haha), and all our activities were BORING! our new superintendant is ruining our school, she really is. our school used to suck, but not that bad. now it just totally blows! i hate it so much! i went to the mall by myself yesterday because i was bored and waiting for my friend to come back from running a bunch of errands. a couple of good looking guys were 'hitting' on me, and following me around the mall. they were so nice and funny, and now.. this confuses me. how come nice, funny, sweet guys talk to me and follow me around the mall, but i get loser boyfriends that treat me like shit? like where are these guys hiding? ..The only thing i miss about having a boyfriend around is the talking on the phone. i liked how i'd talk to them before i went to bed and just talked about our days, and basically anything and everything! but hey, that's the only thing i miss and they were all jerks, so i'm glad i'm not with any of them still.. phew! =] i get my dress fitted today. then i have pitching practice. then hopefully i can go out. i came home 11:30 instead of 11 yesterday and yes, you guessed it, the parents bitched! i hate this, my mom never cared how late i stayed out, but until my dad got new hours and is home at night, both of them are telling me to be in by 11! my dad is a jerk. sometimes he's not bad, but most of the time.. he's an ass. he's over-protective of his 'little princess' which makes me sick. i just want to go out and have fun with my friends, but always have to leave because my parents are idiots all of a sudden. i just realized this the other day.. you people dont know who i am! haha i'm Mary, 17, from Pennsylvania. i go to highschool still, i love my friends to death, and i especially love the 'teg ;] (that's my car..an acura integra, aka-> the'teg) i'm in the process of supin' it up.. it's a quick car, i tell you. it already has some stuff done to it, so at the moment i'm fixin up its looks. im most likely going to get my windows tinted soon, yayy* i bought my spoiler a couple months ago, and i'm pondering if i want euro altezza taillights for it or not. i saved up so much money and i'm spending it on my car, but hey i dont care, i love it =] well im going to shower again, then watch some tv, then get my deeds for the day done, then hopefully go out!! saweeet- have a nice dayyyyyy =] byye*<3 post comment

Yea.. i'm bored- [06 Apr 2004|12:24pm] [ mood | hyper ] [ music | Sara Conner- Bounce ] I'm in school right now. me and tammi went to the library.. yayy*.i'm just really bored and decided to update this why i had the time. it's the period before lunch so i'm excited.. CANT WAIT TO EAT! mMm mMm! -yea i'm a loser. We play a really good team today after school. it's the first real game of the season, and it's the same team we open to every yeat... and their good! so i get kinda nervous every year cuz usually the first game starts what the rest of your season will look like. so hopefully, we'll do good. (i'll letcha know how the game goes) I was in the paper yesterday. that's a good start for me, i usually dont get mentioned until during the season. i hope i get athlete of the week again this year, that's what i'm striving for. that, and player of the year. (which i missed by 1 vote last year) I got my quarter grades for this quarter and i'm doing s0o much better! i'm so proud of myself =] i just hope i can keep it up for the 4th quarter slack and i hope i dont get lazy. 7 minutes until lunch.. i'm getting excited.. i'm going to continue looking up stuff on the computer then go to lunch,.. so i best be going. i'll possibly write more later, or in time to be. byyebyee*<3 post comment

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